I am having a terribly

TERRIBLE headache.... I am working too hard. Work can never be completed. It just piled on and on....

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

Tomorrow is finally considered

midweek for me because I'm off this Sat.... I will skip the usual complaints because it gets too boring to keep repeating everytime i blog.

What am i going to do this weekend? Shopping..... Play game..... Work......???? or play badminton....or..cycle?......? so much things that i wanna do .....

I spent almost 1 hr everynight since last week to read a book call "Sputnik Sweetheart" by HM........I think Im very stupid.. I don't UNDERSTAND AT ALL.. ..i Finished the book...at normal speed with some quick-flipping of pages at the very end.... ...I really do NOT know what this book is ABOUT....but I'm amazed by the fact that i actually did manage to FINISH READING the book....

Can anyone just read this book and explain to me what the story is all about?
Aiyooooooooooooooooooooooo...........

Today....orangy asked:

" eh...u and fatfat tomorrow how long liao ah"..

While i was subtracting the months and years...fatfat told me:
"FORTY-FOUR lah...."

Orangy : ..."wah ...so long liao...."

I : "Long meh...44 months cant even pay finish a car"

Actually, 44 months is really not that long...cuz there are so many things we havent done together......get a nice little place of our own and stay together, get a lil car if we ever managed to get a licence and enuff $$$, travel to the places we've always wanted to go, do the things we've always wanted to do....

we still have a many many months and years down the road .....so we will be able to achieve what I've just listed which we havent completed yet..

For now, U must know that you should NOT keep anything to yourself. YOu have me. Just tell me and we will solve it together ...yes TOGETHER....

Happy Forty-four Months Anniversary to us......

Sian Saturday?

Its almost 1pm.... the sky looks gloomy, so is my mood.
Nothing seemed right recently. Nothing seemed right for people around me too. Nothing at all...

OK, I NEED TO BATHE NOW.

It's just another day

which has passed by in the units of minutes and seconds. Actually, I've already expected something unhappy when I got the news that I have to go there for 2 days.

I was "fearful" of breaking the news to you.. Thinking back, why do i always have to face such situations from you when I work? From past unhappy episodes we have had whenever I worked late, worse during weekend events, japan conference, to OT-ing and retreats etc......

I know you do not trust me till now. Its been almost 4 years. If you cant trust me till now, I don't think you will in future. Probably you just "blurted" something randomly out of head when you smsed me at that moment or probably you meant it deep down in your heart all along... Probably ... Probably...it doesnt really matter... cuz, like you say, I can never understand. yeah right....

What can be worse than having your loving partner to tell you that he doesnt trust you...(cos you are going on a staff retreat)?

What can be worse than quarelling over an unhappy issue for 4 years every now and then...(and yet couldn't find any solutions?)

What can be worse than having your loving partner to shoot sarcastic remarks at you...?

What can be worse than having to blog about unhappy things..(especially for people like me who hates to record unhappy events)?

I kept thinking over and over again, am i really causing you so much insecurities like you claimed , even after so long? A relationship, in order to go such a long way, i think, has involved so much tears and frustrations, and yet understanding and love have overcome them, right? Why are there so many heartaches instead of happiness? Why are there so much unreasonable words instead of encouraging ones? Why are there so much wasted time instead of quality time?
I wish i knew the answers above. I wish that there isn't anything which we cannot talk about in our relationship...I wish everything bad will go away fast. I wish there isn't any more misunderstandings between us. I wish I do not have to go through hurtful conversations with you again. I wish the time ahead of us will be well-spent, like some days when you decide to be good to me....