It's just another day
which has passed by in the units of minutes and seconds. Actually, I've already expected something unhappy when I got the news that I have to go there for 2 days.
I was "fearful" of breaking the news to you.. Thinking back, why do i always have to face such situations from you when I work? From past unhappy episodes we have had whenever I worked late, worse during weekend events, japan conference, to OT-ing and retreats etc......
I know you do not trust me till now. Its been almost 4 years. If you cant trust me till now, I don't think you will in future. Probably you just "blurted" something randomly out of head when you smsed me at that moment or probably you meant it deep down in your heart all along... Probably ... Probably...it doesnt really matter... cuz, like you say, I can never understand. yeah right....
What can be worse than having your loving partner to tell you that he doesnt trust you...(cos you are going on a staff retreat)?
What can be worse than quarelling over an unhappy issue for 4 years every now and then...(and yet couldn't find any solutions?)
What can be worse than having your loving partner to shoot sarcastic remarks at you...?
What can be worse than having to blog about unhappy things..(especially for people like me who hates to record unhappy events)?
I kept thinking over and over again, am i really causing you so much insecurities like you claimed , even after so long? A relationship, in order to go such a long way, i think, has involved so much tears and frustrations, and yet understanding and love have overcome them, right? Why are there so many heartaches instead of happiness? Why are there so much unreasonable words instead of encouraging ones? Why are there so much wasted time instead of quality time?
I wish i knew the answers above. I wish that there isn't anything which we cannot talk about in our relationship...I wish everything bad will go away fast. I wish there isn't any more misunderstandings between us. I wish I do not have to go through hurtful conversations with you again. I wish the time ahead of us will be well-spent, like some days when you decide to be good to me....
I was "fearful" of breaking the news to you.. Thinking back, why do i always have to face such situations from you when I work? From past unhappy episodes we have had whenever I worked late, worse during weekend events, japan conference, to OT-ing and retreats etc......
I know you do not trust me till now. Its been almost 4 years. If you cant trust me till now, I don't think you will in future. Probably you just "blurted" something randomly out of head when you smsed me at that moment or probably you meant it deep down in your heart all along... Probably ... Probably...it doesnt really matter... cuz, like you say, I can never understand. yeah right....
What can be worse than having your loving partner to tell you that he doesnt trust you...(cos you are going on a staff retreat)?
What can be worse than quarelling over an unhappy issue for 4 years every now and then...(and yet couldn't find any solutions?)
What can be worse than having your loving partner to shoot sarcastic remarks at you...?
What can be worse than having to blog about unhappy things..(especially for people like me who hates to record unhappy events)?
I kept thinking over and over again, am i really causing you so much insecurities like you claimed , even after so long? A relationship, in order to go such a long way, i think, has involved so much tears and frustrations, and yet understanding and love have overcome them, right? Why are there so many heartaches instead of happiness? Why are there so much unreasonable words instead of encouraging ones? Why are there so much wasted time instead of quality time?
I wish i knew the answers above. I wish that there isn't anything which we cannot talk about in our relationship...I wish everything bad will go away fast. I wish there isn't any more misunderstandings between us. I wish I do not have to go through hurtful conversations with you again. I wish the time ahead of us will be well-spent, like some days when you decide to be good to me....
posted by Mrs Fatfat @ 10:24 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:51 PM ,
mrstami said...
My dear Pilon, this is life...there are full of Ups & downs....I duno wat advice to give coming to r/s....as its rather personnel...and as u can see, im not dealing very well with mine either....
But, no matter what your classmate will always be there.. hugging you...no matter now smelly u are....
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